Feeling our Feelings
This is a phrase we hear a lot in the pain management world, I hear people encouraging others to feel that anger and to feel their sadness all the time. I want to suggest a new understanding of this phrase. What if feelings are actually an information system designed to help you, kinda like the check-engine light in your car, or a kind of Barometer. What if feelings are really a tap on the shoulder to let you know that your thinking is heading in the wrong direction? If the check-engine light comes on in your car, you don't call out to your neighbor to get his car fixed, you know the information is for you! Staying in those feelings, digging deeper into them is what dysregulates the nervous system and disrupts all kinds of physiology, my new clients are always telling me that this has made their pain worse and got them even more frustrated.
When we are angry or sad or frustrated we usually feel constricted, tight and
tense, even impulsive and we are often taught to fix these feelings, change them, or analyze them but that actually makes them hang around longer! What if you learned that feelings are nothing to be afraid of and knew that it's just information that will pass if you leave it alone? What if you knew you didn't have to be frightened by feelings and that they always pass if you have nothing on them?
You see, the moment we do, we can pop right out of them, no feeling or analyzing or any kind of 'doing' necessary. Our innate resilience goes into action and our natural wellbeing balances everything out. It's a reliable system, try it sometime.
With love Chana